Looks like it's not such a small world after all

In high school, my friend Andy and I had one goal: to go on the "It's A Small World" ride in Disneyland, and destroy it. We had an elaborate plot hatched in our heads to somehow sneak paintball guns onto the ride, and take out those annoying children singing that horrid song one shot at a time.

Now, don't get me wrong. We never actually thought we'd be able to pull this off, but the thought of being the ones to take down this horrible ride made us feel like we could do some good in this world.

Imagine my joyous surprise, when I recently found out that "It's a Small World" had closed down. This feeling of joy was short lived, when I learned that the shutdown was temporary, and turned to downright surprise when I learned why they had shut it down.

Apparently, Americans have become too large to fully be supported by the boats on the ride. This has caused the ride to break down at times, and the boats have also scraped along the bottom of the ride. After years of compensating by balancing the weight out in the boats, Disney ceded the needed to shut the ride down and make amends for the fact that Americans weigh more now than they did in the 1960's.

So thank you, my fellow Americans, for helping me take this ride out of commission. Oh, and I feel a need to add a disclaimer that I take no responsibility if this post gets that vile song stuck in your head. :-p