Other Drivers Really Are Out to Get You

I am a firm believer that other drivers suck. I also agree with Wil Wheaton that we need to drive as if every other driver is out to kill you. Because they totally are.

That's right, whether they are distracted by their cell phone or passenger, messing with the radio or iPod, or just simply following too close to your ass, other drivers are definitely out to get you.

I've had plenty of run-ins with other drivers on the road, and have been known to yell at them profusely from the safety of my car. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not justifiably pissed off by at least one other driver on the road.

For the sake of my own sanity, I try not to let other drivers bother me too much. So long as they don't impede my buffer zone too much, then I am all good. It also helps to assume that they are out to get me, so I never let my guard down. Sounds a bit backwards, but it's true. Trust me, you'll be better off for knowing this. Save yourself from the stupidity of others behind the wheel!

Case in point, this morning while driving my 4 miles to work, I noticed more than a dozen drivers who couldn't be bothered to turn on their lights. Apparently they all didn't notice that it was foggy outside, and when you are driving in the fog, PEOPLE CAN'T SEE YOU IF YOU DON'T TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON! I know it's early and all, but SERIOUSLY! Don't you get this? I CAN'T SEE YOU! If I can't see you, I don't know you are there when I'm turning!!

Fortunately, I plan for the stupidity of others, and flashed my brights at all these dumbshits as I passed them. A few of them realized their mistakes, and turned on their lights. Like magic, they could be seen! I hope they realize this the next time they drive to work in the Willamette Valley fog.

So remember, other drivers are out to kill you; this is a fact. Now that you know this, you have a choice to be part of the problem or the solution. All I ask is that you don't drive stupid. If that's not possible for some reason, just take the bus, and leave the road for me.